I wanted to start the adventure with a dramatic garage door reveal a la Family Guy, but Karie and Russ wouldn't have it. I haven't gotten over it, so I thought I'd mention it right up front. Moving on.
I bought a journal for this trip. At the end of each day I would sit on the floor in some quiet corner, rest the journal on my right knee, and, overtaken by emotion, would record the significant events of the day. I imagined Russ, moved by my pensive stare into the distance (maybe I would be watching the rain out of some picturesque window), would reach for his camera and take my picture. I, of course, would not notice this.
This is what happens when you have all the negative proclivities and none of the virtues of a writer. While I can be prone to daydreaming, fantasizing, narcissism, and long bouts of moodiness and depression, I lack the hard work, perseverance, and focus needed to write even a short blog. Hence the three-week delay in writing my first on-the-road post.
Before I get too far there's something I need to clarify, mostly to those of you who don't know me well. When Karie (my beautiful wife) and I are hanging out with friends I sometimes blurt out, usually in the middle of a story, some bit that might seem either ridiculous or hard to believe. At this point the listener gives Karie a questioning look ("Really?"), to which she responds as follows:
- A roll of the eyes - this means, "Yes, technically, what he's saying is true but some facts have been conveniently omitted." For example, I might reference my incarceration in Asia, but fail to mention the fact that it was a two-day stint in South Korea for loitering
- A side smile - this means, "He's joking. Wait for it, he'll chuckle in a moment and say that he's kidding. If not, I'll remind him that not everyone finds his humor funny." Like the time I told people that our website was RidersForTrump.com
- A blank stare with a widening of the eyes - this means, "Holy sh*t! I haven't heard this one but he isn't joking. I'll look into it." Like the time I mentioned to some friends that I was going on a year-long motorcycle adventure. I sincerely believed that I had spoken with Karie about this.
- A sigh - this means, "Yes, I know, we've heard this story 27 times. I'll give him a moment and if he keeps rattling on about it, I'll remind him." These are usually my favorite stories - I get so much joy from reliving them that I forget people might be tired of hearing them over and over. Like the story about meeting Karie and how I completely fumbled asking her out on a date. True story: whenever I saw Karie I used to tell anyone within earshot, "That's one tall glass of water… and I'm thirsty."
As you read my posts on this blog you won't have the benefit of looking at Karie for confirmation. Luckily, there's the Comments section! Use it to call me out on the BS, or ask for clarification. I'd love to correspond with you all as I share my adventures. Another thing you can do is read Russ' equivalent post for the area (I'll provide the link) - it's usually more entertaining and accurate.